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How I Overcome My Need To Overcontrol

·C O N F E S S I O N ·⁣

Something was eating away slowly inside of me right before Mars went into retrograde. ⁣

The shadows that have descended⁣

Are ghouls who shriek -⁣

You are not worthy of this⁣

You are not good enough⁣

I am often assailed by these critical voices and anxiety. ⁣

The critical voices chattered away ⁣

Killing me rapidly with egocentric ballast. ⁣

It is important for me to acknowledge these shadows.⁣

I know them very well once upon a time⁣

And I had let them break me down and ravage my skin and bones.⁣

Not enough was the Modus Operandi.⁣

I struggled. I flailed about when I reached out and was met with silence.⁣

But in looking for external approval ⁣

The descent into misery will only spiral deeper, further into the abyss.⁣

These critical voices stayed away when I sit with Tea.⁣

In fear's lingering gaze Tea never faltered. ⁣

Master Lin says to let Tea purify me back to the beginning⁣.

Tea purifies and amplifies the heart centre's electromagnetic field.

I continue to show up as the vessel for Tea Spirit, in empty rooms and a packed space alike, to serve and share and relish in this sweet taste of nothingness.⁣


Hello precious beings, I have been fighting some dark nights of the soul these past weeks, so I apologise if I have reached out to you in my search for support. Despite all the blessings surrounding me I felt a slow-creeping fatigue continue to thicken and shroud me into oblivion. In this oblivion I got lost. Lost in the woods my voice was drowned out. Lost in the woods I desperately grasped for twigs and leaves, just to piece together a raft to bring me back to shore. I began to question everything I did. I led a double life where I was serving Tea and in another, bound in servile chains to scarcity and comparison.

But tonight, I decided once and for all that I am going to get out of my way. I'm going to stay in the hut in the mountains, unmoving, uncompromised, uncomplicated. I only have one intention and that intention is to serve. I must always remember. May you remember that you are a living loving creation of the Universe, here to beam your great co-creator light. ➰

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