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Writer's pictureLiYing

How I Healed From Self-loathing And Hate

I used to hate this face you see right here.⁣ I wanted to change my skin tone and eye colour.⁣ I have spent the majority of my childhood wishing I was white, wishing I didn't live in a country like Malaysia. ⁣ I used to blame my great grandparents for taking the ship to escape the Chinese revolution to, of all places, Malaysia! (FOR real 😆)⁣ ❌ These were deep wounds that led me to 10 years of anorexia and other eating disorders, codependent relationships, and a slave to the big social engine of high-achieving burnt-outs.⁣ Now I haven't just found reconciliation with my own DNA.⁣ 🌟 I have found inner peace and purpose.⁣ I have connected deeply with my ancestry and ancestors through divine channels.⁣ And it all came to me in this beautiful plant medicine.⁣ Tea that encourages me to listen deeply.⁣ Tea that asks me to be still to open myself up to my shadow sides and embrace all of them as part of the constellation that makes up who I am.⁣ I have developed such a strong resolve to honour my bloodline and my lineage, my traditions and culture through this beautiful Eastern shamanic practice.⁣ I have rekindled my love for the cloud-walking sages and my relationship with the Goddesses, particularly Guan Yin and Xi Wang Mu, the embodiments of light and dark, yang and Yin - and all the things in between. ⁣ I am here to serve and share this pathway home to our hearts, to reconnect mind, body and spirit.⁣ It is not just drinking Tea 😉⁣ Divine communion with Tea Spirit, for me, is non-negotiable now.⁣ She is ever changing, but ever present.⁣ Her effervescence can come in gigantic waves of elation and ecstasy.⁣ Or She could be simply, quietly allowing, serenely carrying me into the fold of the unknown. ⁣ I am always led. I am always rooted to my truth. I am always guided back to my centre of stillness. ⁣ The chaos of life is actually truly a mystery.⁣ 🌌 A beautiful, boundless mystery.⁣ All of this takes place within the confines of my body. ⁣ When I show up authentically, divine and messy me, these are the exalted and grounded feelings that stay me in the present moment as well as shape-shift my body into freedom, attract abundance and aligned relationships into my life:⁣ ♥I now remember who I am.⁣ 🖤 I honour my generosity and boundaries.⁣ 🤍 I receive abundance with pleasure.⁣ 💖 I am grateful for all that I have.⁣ I know with certainty that everything is happening in my favour and the collective's highest good.⁣ These didn't just happen overnight, but I want you to know that you can absolutely get this at an accelerated rate. ⁣ 👑 Yes, Goddess.⁣ A radical shift can happen for you when you say YES to full transformation. 🌠⁣ 🧜‍♀️ If you are ready to align with your true Self, let's chat.⁣ https://www.whenstillwatersspeak.com/90-day-immersion-siren-goddess⁣ ·.·⁣ Warmest Love, ⁣ LiYing 🎐


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