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How I Am Recovering From An Eating Disorder Past With Tea

I shall never forget


the first time

Tea Spirit found me


I was asking the Universe for an Exit


out of my current quagmire.


I was a float in a vast ocean going nowhere.


I took an aeroplane


And time took off


So fast, in lightning speed


I have identities to shed, shadows with whom I have identified

That girl was standing in my bedroom, a girl barely into her second year in university

She felt like her body was taking up too much space. She felt shame when she caught even one glimpse of her reflection in the mirror.


She almost killed herself, flogging her body with the latest workout and fad diets. Still, she didn't feel good at all. The sergeant inside her head harassed and harangued, and her feet could not stop running. She ran from friends, from fun. Joy drained away from her eyes, rigid fear hollowed out her cheeks. It didn't stop. The relapses kept happening for 7 years hence.

When she said enough is enough to that voice in her head, she sought out to change her state. Gratitude started to flow, and her heart began to open up.


Three years after the vow to break the years of #edrecovery rollercoaster pattern forevermore, I asked the Universe for a sign at a crossroad and She showed me the Way of Tea.

I was able to see beauty in the simplicity of one cup of tea, and that longing for more, to escape my roots, have all dissipated. In fact, Tea has given me, time and time again to rediscover and dig deep into my Chinese ancestry and heritage. At times when it gets painful, as the ego mind tends to rebel as it has wont to do all of my life, Tea provides the medicine to clear the pathways of my mind and allow me to see more clearly that every single belief is just a belief, as every single leaf is a leaf, until we give meaning to it. And that meaning lies within our hands.


Precious community, I want to create this space for you. All my offerings are free to share.


I am now on Zoom too for the#instagramlive sessions I have posted so far, thanks to a loving supporter who has made this possible. Simply RSVP in the #linkinbio. Thank you for allowing me to hold space for you. Would you like to see more frequent Zoom-only sits in May? 🍃



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©2020 by When Still Waters Speak.