I ran for hours in the gym.
I was addicted to sprinting on the treadmill.
I cycled on the gym bike for hours and hours.
I would climb 35 flights of stairs. Yeah. Not exaggerating.
I remember refusing to take the lift or escalators, only to find myself climbing miles of stairways up some Tube station or my office building.
I walked around Paris during my three-month stay there, refusing to take any public transport, until I broke two pairs of shoes.
And all of this, going on one bowl of cereal a day/ lashings of watermelons/ papayas/ grapes/ kiwis.
(I was terrified of bananas.)
It is totally insane to think of the strain I used to put on my body and yet still feel like I could push further, do better...
I would go on the Power Plate, then hop into a circuit training, and think that I was doing my body good by "whipping" it into shape.
I was obsessed with trying anything that could burn more fat and lose more weight.
Little did I know I was stressing the hell out of my body.
Until I injured my foot, which forced me to stop all heavy exercises.
Until I found a bulge around my neck, and upon being passed around by one perplexed doctor after another from various departments in the hospital, was still undiagnosed, until an evangelist in disguise (in the form of an ophthalmologist) said to me: "I think you just need to chill out. Relax. Have you ever tried meditation or yoga?"
⚡ That was it.
💝 The moment when everything really changed － except I was not even aware of how pivotal that moment was.
🙏🏻 I simply knew I could not live like this any longer, and God, whatever it takes I am going to try it.
🧜♀️ I now feel deeply into the core of my being with so much grace and ease, presence, love and gratitude.
🕊 I no longer disown any part of me that feels "bad" and shameful.
🙋🏻♀️ Every part of me is me.
🥀 If you would like to go on a sacred journey of disordered eating recovery without relapsing and spending years in therapy, you can book in a free Share & Heal Session with me after watching this free training here 👇🏻