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Ancestral Healing & Family Constellations

I saw my grandmother. ⁣

I saw my younger self, barely twelve.⁣

In my uniform, my hair straggly and my teeth wonky.⁣

I feel so much love for this child, sweet innocence contained within her sparkling eyes.⁣

Wonderment and fascinated with everything ⁣

She was ready to pursue her big dreams.⁣

I saw my grandmother then⁣

I heard her old player playing the Guan Yin Sutra on the altar⁣

Replaying and replaying the same chant ⁣

As incense burnt to the ash.⁣

I cried for the lost time⁣

I cried for I never took a better look at her⁣

I cried for I never had enough time to care for her⁣

I was only carelessly wandering off into the future ⁣

And I lost the present⁣

I will never be able to give her physical body a hug now.⁣

I remember the same Guan Yin Sutra being played at her wake.⁣

Or maybe that is just my memory playing tricks on me.⁣

I still see her lying supine⁣

A face of serenity powdered up and rouged by the trick of an expert hand⁣

I still see her coffin moving into the furnace ⁣

Burnt to ash⁣

As we all knelt on the cold marble floor and sobbed and cried.⁣

Life is so incredibly fragile⁣

I never want to go about wasting away in poverty consciousness ⁣

Tea reminds me⁣

Tea flowed through and brought me to the child that was me ⁣

I gave her a hug and said, you are never alone. You are never going to be alone again. I love you.⁣

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