In 2017, my shadow dance with anorexia ended in a big way.
I made a commitment to myself that I would not lie to myself again － after 10 years, this time I would go fully into recovery. No more yo-yoing and relapsing. This was for real.
As I was going through that time on my own in a new city at a new job, I had the opportunity to completely redefine who I was. Nobody in Hong Kong knew who I was. I was a clean slate.
So I went about being the mousy quiet one, slightly overweight with the bloated round face who clocked in and out, sitting at the desk silently keeping her head down and getting her job done. She was quiet, and she wore maybe a little too much make-up for a newsdesk digital manager.
But my soul spoke louder than my timid mind.
Little did I know I was preparing myself for a journey of a lifetime.
I reconnected with my body the first time I felt myself moving within my body.
Channels firing up and my life force was drawn out again, enlivening my heart after a long time of laying dormant.
It sometimes still blows my circuits to look back and see how everything felt like a remembrance of who I really am when I first met Tea.
Tea as a wisdom that pours into us through the human experience.
For the first time I felt so connected with everything and everyone around me.
For the first time, I felt peace.
And as the Dao continues to unfold through me, I am an evolution that keeps anchoring into the unknown as a cosmic vortex of stillness.
Everyday I commune with Tea Spirit to ask for guidance to be of service to the highest good of all.
I feel comfortable in my own skin because I feel love coursing through my veins every single moment of the day.
I am my safe space, and Tea is the sagely Goddess who is always holding a lamp up to shine the Way forward for me, even in the deepest void and the darkest caves.
And when there is a time when I feel anger or pain, Tea holds a hand up for me to receive the love to allow me strength to be reminded of what is truly alive and possible in me.
To listen, truly listen even in times when I am triggered or upset.
Not to run away in a difficult situation of the heart, because ultimately, Tea teaches me everyday that, ultimately, every person only truly ever wants to be loved and seen.
This has transformed all my relationships with my family and ancestors.
It has given me clarity to speak from my heart － and hold it even in times when my words are not received with love.
When I become a vessel for Cha Dao, I become the stillness that wants to pour forth, and everyone can feel connected to that stillness.
And we all have the power to embody this vortex of stillness.
Where the earth meets the sky
This is embodiment
I cannot tell you how to get there
I can tell you that you are on The Way, my child
You are The Way.
🕯 5 spaces available now inside of Priestess of Tea 🍵
And 1:1 Immersion application is open for Siren Goddess