Sometimes, like today, I wonder why I write.
In moments when we scrutinise the abysmal reach and lack of response, it is simply too easy to get carried away by the numbers and feel absolutely despondent.
To feel like all our passion and purpose are a meaningless act in our our lives.
Likes, adulation support, responses... it all begins to look and feel terribly familiar, like that terror of realisation that dawned on me that no one was coming to my birthday party when I was a child, naively designing a fantasy that her family would be throwing a party on her behalf － and then there was no cake, and one friend showed up.
I sat with this little girl today as she turned up in meditation. This is not the first time, and I know for her to show up again means there is more to deepen here and I am now ready for it.
Everything began to tie back together...
How we seek so desperately to be loved and seen...
How we try and try to fit in and shrink our authentic expressions because we have once been told to sit down and quietly move past when we were shining in our fullest high energy...
How we stop believing because we have been told we are so silly and crazy when we had fully believed in something yet to be tangible...
The healing from all these subconscious scars comes in deep stillness.
Listening to the subtle chords of grief arising from the stillness.
Allowing the alchemy to take place in a space where I no longer deny my soul or my body.
Grief is a reminder that love exists in us all.
No matter how numbed, heartbroken, disappointed, angry, lost, doubtful of the meaning of life we can be...
All it comes down to is this very metal element of grief, waiting for us to bring it into our warm embrace.
When we do, love's whispers can finally be heard...
If this speaks to you, you are so welcome to join me in Ceremony on the 29th of March 2023.
P R E S E N C E
LIVE on Zoom. Recording is available for lifetime access afterwards.
Link in bio or dm me to join. ✨
Be you, be free, it's all available for you, 💋