When I started writing down in my tiny bio that I work with "leaders", I was building from a dream.
There were no evidence exactly just yet what it would become, but my intuition was burning strong.
I went through a huge plunge into a journey the minute I announced to the Universe that I was ready to play big no matter what storms come my way (hey ho, that's it, the Universe heard me!).
There was a time when I felt like an impostor.
Questioning all the time, "Why would they choose ME?"
What it came down to was a real question for ME: "Why would I choose ME?"
It was not until I chose me that I really alchemised that inferiority complex of an impostor that happens at every uplevel.
I am not saying it is gone forever - I am saying that it happens at every new level of consciousness, and that there is a new form of alchemy inviting us into embodied leadership each time that happens.
The journey could have broken me － I fell into darkness so pitch black I could cry months of tears and try to look strong...
But I kept returning to the vortex of stillness and journeyed through the void, the disintegration...
Until one day, I felt the movement in me begin to flow, like water bursting through the soil and turning into a waterfall and geyser of light. Both ends. Incoming.
I HAVE TO CHOOSE ME.
I AM THE LEADER.
I CHOOSE ME, no matter who's watching and listening.
When I chose me, I knew it was because I have embodied the medicine I am sharing with the world.
When I chose me, I finally felt the spirits and ancestors who have always walked with me cheering me on to show up in my full power.
It was a powerful feeling. My abandonment wounds healed. My not-enoughness became a past that led me to this place of self-leadership.
So often the world looks outside for external validation - the sense of approval that comes only when someone has said we are okay to do what what we desire to do.
So much so that most people believe that they have to learn something for others, not so much for themselves.
But the catch-22 is: you are an energetic match for those people you desire to attract into your world.
I have forgone certifications because I do not believe it - but it doesn't mean I won't when I feel something fully aligned FOR me. I am not taking a certification course for someone else to validate how good I am. I am taking it when I do decide to take it FOR my own uplevel.
Uplevellng into higher vibrations, as is so desired in the spiritual community, come when we are embodying more of our darkness, those parts that do not feel enough to come to light.
You are ultimately the one and only creatrix of your life.
You get to decide how much of your authentic power you want to reclaim.
You get to choose how you want to live - and how big you want to become.
🪷🌙
I hope by writing this, it has moved something in you to know you are at one with nature, and that a guiding light is always with you.
If you feel called, share it with someone who can feel this!
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Be you, be free, it's all available for you, 💋
LiYing 🎐
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