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How To Stop Waiting

REAL TALK 💙 How to stop waiting until "you've got it" to do what you truly desire 💙

When I think back to the times before I got to this here and now, I remember the things that felt as real as they are here now.⁣

When I was earning £11 on donation basis for my ceremonies, wondering how I could make ends meet.⁣

When I was all stressed out about all the SHOULDS thrown my way by my loved ones, in the name of love. ⁣

Times when I doubted I could make it any further with this work because it seemed like no one could hear me or see me.⁣

Then the times when I took a giant leap and invested in surrounding myself with people who took leaps too, and the floodgates opened.⁣

Times when I totally felt like a queen and nothing could faze me because the truth of my sacred work engulfed my smallness and fears. ⁣

The clients came and my illusions were all falling off. I can actually make this work!⁣

The times when I sat on the floor in front of my laptop screen, silently holding space for my clients' tears.⁣

The times when my heart burst with light as I witnessed their expressions and energies transform from victim to victory.⁣

The cold in my living room when the nights grew longer and I had to rely on my moon-shaped lamp to illuminate the space where I had bowls and bowls of hot Tea in ceremony. ⁣

And of course, along the way, the dissent, the upset with me of where I could not meet someone's expectations, the ones who drop away saying I am not enough... ⁣

"You're not extroverted enough... go start DMing them for a chat."⁣

"No, you're not doing it right. Here's how you should do it."⁣

"You waffle in such abstraction people don't get you."⁣

"It is so hard to tell exactly what you do. What do you do again?!"⁣

"You have to go out and network and interact."⁣

"You should do the latest trendy thing so you can attract more clients."⁣

"Instagram doesn't like long captions."⁣

"Dance on TikTok. That will sell."⁣

"Sell, sell, sell. Do, do, do."⁣

OH FUDGE. WOMAN. ⁣

What is left of me to unpick anymore?⁣

Can I hold the old paradigm alongside my desired reality?⁣

In stillness, I find my authentic voice again.⁣

In untangling from my subconscious dissonance, I hold my dreams to the light.⁣

In embracing something greater than my primal instinct to survive, I reclaim my creatrix power and align with freedom. ⁣

Freedom that is created.⁣

By me. ⁣

I am always going to be lyrically wreathing words upon words.⁣

I'm always going to get excited about the littlest things.⁣