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How I Found The Presence Within When I Had My Panic Attack

I had a panic attack this morning. I think the last time I had one was also my first, when I was caught in the midst of the Hong Kong protest alone.⁣

The same feelings assailed me. I felt cold all over, my heart was racing a million miles per hour.  ⁣

I left multiple voice notes on @lifeisjustastorywritten my soul friend's phone, frightened by the liminal space between reality and dream of 4 in the morning.⁣

The veil was so thin. I knew I felt a Presence in me. This loving awareness. I prayed to find solace, to find peace. ⁣

I knew what drove me into the dark night of the soul. ⁣

I recently placed a bet on myself. I made a decision to step up on my dreams and purposes in service of others.⁣

That is the most terrifying thing. Placing a bet on myself. ⁣

How many times have we really done that? How many of you have had the courage to do that?⁣

I ask because I woke up and saw it so clearly,⁣

That we are all capable of placing this bet on ourselves and believing fully in our capacity to deliver. ⁣

This was what I did.⁣

· 〰️ Inviting Presence 〰️·⁣

Silence falls⁣

When we stop trying to name whatever it is that is arising from this ⁣

Silence.⁣

Presence comes forth⁣

When we become presence itself.⁣

There is a loss of thinking⁣

Of doing⁣

In this space.⁣

This I-know-nothing space⁣

Where Awareness is present you cease to be⁣

Presence has no name.⁣

It feels like home⁣

Safety⁣

Warmth⁣

And comfort. ⁣

Nourishing us from within with its luminescence ⁣

We allow⁣

We surrender to the creativity that glows like ember⁣

And the spark grows into a great conflagration. ⁣

This is when we live in concordance with the Dao.⁣

This is when we know the vast intelligence of the Universe is one with us.⁣

This is when we live in our Buddha Nature.⁣

And so it is⁣

From this space we take actions that are not lost in unconsciousness.⁣

And so it is⁣

How karmic ties are released.⁣

I am stable.⁣

I am vulnerable.⁣

I am balanced.⁣

I am strong.⁣

🕊🍃🧡


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©2020 by When Still Waters Speak.