We still have a long way to go for mental health to come into light, for this to be less of a taboo of which to speak.
I want to talk about how corporations write off job applicants who have noted down that they have mental health issues, diagnosed or not － I have bungled my way on this when I was a fresh graduate looking for a job in a certain magazine title in London, admitting to my anorexia at that time on application form and during the interview. I will always remember that woman's expression. I want to talk about how even in the wellness industry we circle each other but never quite address what seems to be blatantly plaguing their comrades in the field. I want to talk about how holistic health is largely discounted in the discussion, with astrology relegated to "some kind of fortune telling" and meditation to "just a waste of time". I can't begin to talk about how often I am asked to justify what I do and why they are worth it. I am a human being trying to figure things out too, and my admission to that wabi sabi way of living somehow penalises me to a degree that have them completely (for some) write me off.
Is it competition, skepticism, comparison, fear that inhibit us from seeing deeper, peeling away the layers that really are what make up our humanness?
Yes, I am a recovering anorexic. Yes, I get to a point when I don't believe in my own gifts. Yes. I do have expectations for friends to reach out to me, and yes I most certainly have been let down multiple times. Yes, I have gone through troughs in my life when I had no fucking clue what I want in my life, desperate to be loved despairing at my solitude in a 300 sq-ft flat in Hong Kong.
We are so mired in our own reflection
Our stories and our justification
Once and for all
What if we begin each day
Living the life we believe is ours
Living the life we saw in our dreams
Instead of lamenting the limitations and restrictions
The devastation and reasons to hold back.
Living is a dream anyway
So why not live the dream?
I am not perfect and I have so much to learn. But I have no interest in competing. I only ask to be a vessel for the Universe, for Tea Spirit to guide me down the Way.