I cried and sobbed.
I cried as my heart ached.
This exorcism of a deep wound needed to happen.
This expansion that is happening inside of me needed to be met swiftly with a complete severance.
I cried in shame before my husband.
I spoke words through deluge of tears that had never before been able to come out of me.
Words I call my most fearsome demons.
As I drew my breath in and out, sobbing into my husband's chest, I could feel the ghost who possessed me leave my body.
As I break completely I allow myself to break completely.
For so long, I have been holding this up on my own, thinking I could handle it.
I let myself say the worst kinds of words my protective personality could ever say:
"You are a failure. You are not worthy. You are so weak."
It still pains me now to write this.
The truth was there was no one that was holding me to such perfectionist standards but me.
I was standing with my tough upper lip, but all I really needed to do was to reach into my vulnerability and reach out.
To accept that I can't do it all.
That I can't be everything to everyone.
That to become whole, is to also own all the sh*t that is a part of me.
I am now writing and integrating the lesson deep into my psychosomatic with practices I use for others.
Using this moment now to shift the karmic wounds out of my energetic bodies I can build the circuits that are needed to anchor in my expansion.
To hold the space for my highest spiritual body to manifest with higher potency through my physical body.
Deep sigh. Deep bow. Deep gratitude.
I have released that ghost into the deep mineral vortex, back to the Goddess of the Underworld, Xi Wang Mu.
A crystalline body is emerging, slowly pushing through the soil.
I embody my rebirth with patience and grace and ease.
And when we are in touch with the Soulful Self, connected with our cosmic internal knowing, we can expand in life organically, knowing deeply that everything unfolds for us － everything is available for us. 🌟
📿 To heal your relationship with your body, get in touch for your free session with me.