💙 T E A R S 💙
Time difference does strange things to you.
It puts a stop gap in your mind
Making you myopic
Feeling more distant than it really ever is.
I swam through the oceans
And found myself in the cosmos
Reaching out for the stars.
Deep ends of tranquillity,
I float through space with wide-eyed amazement,
With childlike wonderment.
But I knew I belonged here
That I once lived here,
This watery star of grace.
I miss home.
I miss him.
I miss the silence of the night
The way my feet would move on the floorboards.
The way the seagulls' cries pierce through the air.
It is only when time slips away like this that you realise how you can never ever return to that one moment again.
I ask presence to fill me up
And empty me out again so I can be filled up once more.
That elation of love and pure gratitude for all that we can feel within this throbbing heart is so precious
This fleeting quality of life
Especially when you can see how formless time really is.
It has been a little more than a week since I have left this magical place on Earth, since I have become physically removed from the side of my loved one (fiancé! Still finding it strange to say).
I had found myself fighting the currents, shattered by the tussle, defeated in a pool of tears. It is important for me to be transparent about my processes, because this is a human experience that we are all living out as spiritual beings. There are endless streams of possibilities happening all at the same time, and when we cultivate that No Body, that No Mind, we can very often be able to see obstacles as a blessing, emotions as indications. Easier said than done, so be easy on yourself, take your time, be gentle and compassionate.
I am increasingly aware of this call to rest, to slow down, to recentre and realign, to cultivate my Cha Dao practice deeper. Walking the Way of Tea allows me to step back and listen to the messages rising in steam from bowls of Tea. There is commitment here to surrender to the highest good. There is commitment here to ask to be used for the highest good.