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Divine Being, A Reminder For Me Self

I can still recall how much it mattered and defined me, the food and amount of food I don't put into my body.⁣ I can still recall how I thought it was good to be constantly critical of my own body and that it made sense to keep thinking of what to fix and make better/improve.⁣ The times in recovery when I was hooked up to IV drops and self-injecting hormones into my body.⁣ The times when I was not able to be fully present with my friends, family, lovers. ⁣ The times when I would push my workouts to "just ten more laps", or "thirty more minutes" and feeling so damn proud for masking the hunger with pain.⁣ The times when I would take the stairs and run up and down during lunchtime. There were the toilet cleaners who hung out there and knew me by name.⁣ The times in recovery when people who previously have met me couldn't recognise me now because I looked so different. It devastated me to the point of hating myself and relapsing.⁣ Until I finally got it.⁣ Until I finally understood. ⁣ I will never forget the time my father found me unconscious next to the toilet bowl after trying to purge what I had binge ate to stymie the cavernous hunger that was swallowing me whole when I first started to work on my recovery. I will never forget the time my mother saw me in the airport to pick me up when I returned from Paris.⁣ I will never forget the promise I made to myself to remind myself again and again should I fall, that I am already a whole and eternal being.

There is nothing to fix. Nothing to change. I am imperfectly perfect.⁣ ⁣⁣ 🕊 If you would like to go on a sacred journey of disordered eating recovery without relapsing and spending years in therapy, you can book in a free Share & Heal Session with me after watching this free training here. ⁣ 💗 Limited spots because it is powerfully centred upon 1:1 sessions and unconditional faith + love 🤍💫⁣ Click through here or link in bio 😌🍃👇🏻⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ .·.⁣⁣ Warmest Love,⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ LiYing 💗⁣⁣

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