Search

A Letter To My Younger Self

Dear LiYing,⁣ ⁣ ⁣ I know you are scared. ⁣ ⁣ But these tears that are running down your cheeks are not for them to judge. ⁣ ⁣ Let's run away, shall we ⁣ ⁣ Let's run away⁣ ⁣ To a space where the sky meets the sea.⁣ ⁣ I know you cannot comprehend⁣ ⁣ This hate that you have for your own body.⁣ ⁣ How did it all begin?⁣ ⁣ How did you fall into the entrapment of vanity?⁣ ⁣ Oh yes you remember when there was a time when you were a girl who dreamt of big open fields where you could run free.⁣ ⁣ And you did run free, singing songs to the grass and dancing with the wind. ⁣ ⁣ Who cut you down and made you believe you were crazy and weird?⁣ ⁣ Who told you and when did you begin to believe that you were ugly and too dark and too much?⁣ ⁣ So much so that you began to shrink yourself⁣ ⁣ Disappearing into cracks in the floors⁣ ⁣ Melting into the walls so you won't ever need to be judged again.⁣ ⁣ Was it your first crush, with whom you tried so hard to help, who finally then professed he loved you and then turned around the next day to say he actually still loved the first girl of his dreams?⁣ ⁣ Was it the boy on the basketball team who jeered at your prematurely forming breasts?⁣ ⁣ Or was it that girl in your class who told you that you must cut her a head of flower in order for her to be your first friend?⁣ ⁣ Was it that woman who innocuously laughed at a picture of yours that revealed a little of your tummy in an unfortunately unflattering angle?⁣ ⁣ Was it that PT who said you will never be normal again, not like this, after you have starved yourself and raze your body to the ground for so many years?⁣ ⁣ Or was it that alcoholic lit teacher who couldn't make sense of why he loved you because you were "not his type", who then went on to say that you are broken and there is something wrong with your body?⁣ ⁣ Forgive them, LiYing, for they did not know.⁣ ⁣ We are all just beginning to live every single day, beginning to learn how to live every single day.⁣ ⁣ Forgive the voices who have distorted your beliefs ⁣ ⁣ Rendering you to see yourself only in your insignificance and ugliness.⁣ ⁣ I am never good enough... never good enough...⁣ ⁣ I have you safe here. Here have a look in the mirror.⁣ ⁣ See the glorious sun that shines through you⁣ ⁣ The moon that illuminates your soul.⁣ ⁣ Seeker, seek no more ⁣ ⁣ For the heart knows.⁣ ⁣ Let me tell you this⁣ ⁣ This truth that shall stay with you forever:⁣ ⁣ That your eating disorder is a gift.⁣ ⁣ There is nothing of which you are to be ashamed.⁣ ⁣ Your propensity to reach for perfection is a reflection of what you have glimpsed through the veil⁣ ⁣ That your true nature is your Soul, your God Source, the Universe,⁣ ⁣ Made up of trillion and trillions of atoms. ⁣ ⁣ Why am I here?⁣ ⁣ Because when the soul is awaken⁣ ⁣ Time and space do not exist.⁣ ⁣ Your soul lives on forever.⁣ ⁣ You and these crashing waves are no different than the tree that is standing in the garden.⁣ ⁣ Feel how precious this life is. ⁣ ⁣ Hold it. You see? You feel it?⁣ ⁣ I and you are no different. ⁣ ⁣ Do you see?⁣ ⁣ Thank you for doing the hard work so I can lift off from here.⁣ ⁣ Remember that wise man who wrote to you to congratulate you for your first heartbreak and said how much the Universe loved you to gift you this experience?⁣ ⁣ Well, that is truer than the earth that you can feel against the soles of your bare feet now. ⁣ ⁣ Oh LiYing, I can say so much more but this here now I just want to hold you and let you know⁣ ⁣ You are so loved⁣ ⁣ Please forgive yourself⁣ ⁣ Please forgive yourself⁣ ⁣ You are so loved⁣ ⁣ You are so loved⁣ ⁣ There is never anything wrong with you⁣ ⁣ You are extraordinary ⁣ ⁣ You are not broken ⁣ ⁣ I am sorry I have been so angry with you before;⁣ ⁣ For being ashamed of you. ⁣ ⁣ Believe me⁣ ⁣ You are so loved.⁣ ⁣ You are free to run along now⁣ ⁣ Fly⁣ ⁣ I set you free.⁣ ⁣ ⁣ Love,⁣ ⁣ LiYing from 2021⁣ ⁣ 🤍🕊🪶

Do you know that your disordered relationship with food and body is a gift?

I can say this with conviction.

Because what is underneath it all is: are you feeling enough?

I want to help you break the cycle of resistance and restriction that arises from perfectionism and stop your self-sabotage in its tracks. I want to empower you with the practices that allow you to love life knowing that the Universe always has your back. Stop dieting and start living. Stop judging yourself and start living. Stop holding onto the past and start living. Stop obsessing and start living. Stop burning out and rushing from one point to another endlessly and START LIVING. Wholeness starts here now.

🌊 Discover the true reason you keep diminishing yourself - break the chains of social conditioning of seeing only what is wrong to heal your vision with Beginner's Mind.

Join my upcoming 21-day Virtual Mountain Retreat to discover your Soul's epic journey now. Dm me to get your invite.

Or

Get on a 1-hour Share and Heal Session with me. It's free, it's powerful and cathartic. 👇🏻🪶🕊 https://whenstillwatersspeak.as.me/a-space-to-be-free


5 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Untitled

{Disordered Eating Recovery} Tried Everything But Nothing Works? I like a good shower analogy and if you do too, you're gonna love this snippet from my last Facebook Live 😌 🤍🚿 Every week I go Live